Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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