Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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