Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize