i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize