Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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