ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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