I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
zippers are such a cool invention
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize