3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
