im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
