i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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