It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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