People in love make me want to vomit
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
