Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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