we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
