OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
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so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize