So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december