Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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