I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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