I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
