take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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