these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
