I'm really into asian looking animals
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize