That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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