are you still at the devil's house?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Randomize
