Cold hands, warm shart.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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