I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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