We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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