Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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