Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude i'm inner monologue high
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
