Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
