this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
