I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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