I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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