Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
