Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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