It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
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Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You have to summon your inner elephant
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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