You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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