i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize