my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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