My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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