I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
