And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
