just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
