i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
