I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ladies don't puke and tell
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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