U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
