What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
