Walk of Shame. In a state park.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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