smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize