i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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