i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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