A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
