Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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