Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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