sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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