would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize