Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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