I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
